One of the hardest task for me is to not show emotion on certain instance in whatever situation I am. In one way or another it will definitely show on my face, that makes me a bad liar. I usually walk out in an argument just to prevent my self from saying things I will regret after the burst of anger. If I don't like what people say you can see it on my face. I don't want this anymore. I wanted to learn how to have a poker face. I want people to see nothing. Just an Emotionless face. Just nothingness.
Good thing i don't have to show poker face in blogging to hide emotion. I can be as emotional and radical as I want to because this is my page. A piece of me.
I hate it when an individual contribution at work are measured under perception only. I believe that numbers will count when defining how well you perform at work. I think considering just perception is Bias. I once hate Dell because everything can be measured in numbers and that always defines how well you perform. You will always see comprehensive reports on your performance evaluation rating not just how your boss look how you work but what are the results, the actual numbers from the process engineering who generate performance report. Now I have come to realize that I still love the soul and core value of dell. I hate it when leader thinks the process are working effectively because majority can suck it up and work with it. And when you fail to follow you are tagged as dork and will have mark on your forehead that you are none performer and they would have to look at all your work simply because you failed to follow the process without considering all other contribution you are doing daily. I guess I can somehow conclude that those are enough reason why Dell still belongs to top 50 Fortune 500 company regardless of financial issues they had, I just adore their strategic business team down to the smallest people who do their job, makes me proud that I have the opportunity to work with them. Why I am writing all these? because I am not happy right now (not gonna go into details) I don't want to see myself dragging into work just because I have to earn to pay my bills. Now this is a good time to show my poker face.
Poker Face - Lady GaGa